Dear Tonton,

One of our neighbors is rather strange. They tend to divert their eyes whenever they see me coming down the street or if we happen to chance upon one another in front of the building. Very odd. I don't think that I've done anything to piss them off or offend them but for some reason they have decided after 2 months that I'm not worthy of their friendliness. Even when I run into them and they act poorly towards me I always make sure to send my happiest of happy smiles their way and if I'm in a REALLY good mood I'll trill, "heeeelllo" as well for good measure. I just don't understand why they choose to be so difficult and so freakin' grumpy.
Maybe they have perpetual *pms (even though this person is of the male persuasion!!!) Tonton, what should I do?
*PMT

Dear Reader,

As someone who spends so much of his time trying to make himself inconspicuous and is genuinely surprised when people remember him, Tonton's heart goes out to your neighbour. It could be that the gentleman suffers from that most unsociable disease- incredible shyness. It could also be that the man is blind. But you didn’t ask Tonton for excuses, did you? Please forgive Tonton, he always tries to see the good in others. But your neighbour has forfeited the benefit of the doubt and is clearly behaving rudely to you. You may be congratulated on having done nothing wrong (unless you've been pluralising him even to his face). Tonton suggests being even more neighbourly. Try introducing yourself at your next ‘meeting’, and perhaps adding a few inquiries about good bakeries or fetish shops in the area (these are just the first things that popped into Tonton's head, feel free to come up with your own suggestions). If after that the gentleman persists in not recognising you, you have Tonton’s permission to return the favour.