http://deartonton.blog.co.uk/

In response to:Advice For New Mothers

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 18:53:31 +0200

tonton you are so right about the germ-laden adults. keep the tots safer definitely. of course i have experience only from a safe 5ft distance.

In response to:Advice For New Mothers

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 16:00:07 +0200

Dear Reader,
Such a charming picture you've described. Tonton can almost see you standing there facing that firing squad of cardigans, but he doesn't quite understand why you don't shoot back. He feels confident that you can- indeed has heard you put one or two people in their places. Tonton recommends the simple phrase, 'Sorry, I couldn't possibly'. No more and no less. Repeat as necessary.

In response to:Advice For New Mothers

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 22:13:29 +0200

Dear Tonton, People keep wanting to talk to me at the school gate and although generally I am a friendly, outgoing kind of gal, I find that this leads to me being signed up to take part in everything from the Brownies, running the Bookshop, baking cakes for the next 'save the hamster' fundraiser, painting faces at every single event and also getting roped in to all sorts of treasurer roles because it has been told that I once was a bank manager. I have three small children, a social life, a husband (yes, in that order) and a job. How do I politely tell these women to feck orf without hurting their feelings, alienating my children and coming across as down right rude?
Anxious from Glasgow.
p.s. I tried running away today but they chased me...."HELEN!!!! HeeeeeeLLLLLEEEEENNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!"

In response to:Advice For New Mothers

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 05:32:47 +0200

aaaah thanks JP very nice advice indeed, I will have to print this glorious post out and put it up on the wall.....very well written mon oncle!

ttfn, xxxxM!

In response to:Advice For New Mothers

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 00:49:30 +0200

LE pont de LA tour, innit?

In response to:Advice For New Mothers

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 21:22:29 +0200

Eh!

Was it cerise?

In response to:Advice For New Mothers

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 17:36:21 +0200

Dear Reader,
Tonton doesn't know which he should do first- he could correct your spelling, but that sets an unfriendly tone. He could allow that well, as long as it's hooded who cares. Tonton wishes you all the best and hopes you have a healthy baby.

In response to:Advice For New Mothers

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 16:26:21 +0200

Trying to tell me cerise Juicy Couture tracksuits are no longer welcome in La Pont de le Tour?

In response to:Neighbourly Behaviour

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 18:33:22 +0200

Dear Tonton,

You are a wise diamond indeed. Both tips I shall of course implement in time.

In response to:Neighbourly Behaviour

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 15:32:54 +0200

Dear Reader,

Ah, the times we live in. City life is full of these episodes that can so thoroughly frustrate a well-meaning citizen, and that contradict the lessons our parents tried so hard to teach us. This of course is not news, as you, dear reader, have documented many such episodes in your own blog. But you ask what Tonton would have done. Tonton shall tell you what he did.

The first thing he did was to master that simple expedient of the Fleeting Greeting. This takes only a second of your time and if unnoticed or unacknowledged, causes no embarrassment. When passing a neighbour simply raise the corners of your mouth, adding a slight nod to complete the gesture, and keep on walking.

The second thing Tonton did was leave the city. Today he receives hearty greetings from all whom he meets- neighbours and strangers alike.

In response to:Neighbourly Behaviour

Sat, 15 Apr 2006 21:17:31 +0200

Dear Tonton,

Your advice herein is flush with goodness and I can easily perceive you are some wise soul indeed. However, one experience along these "neighbour lines" has always irked me.

Upon meeting with a new neighbour of a couple of years back by walking past his door step - upon which he was sitting and smoking whilst surveying his new kingdom - I of course offered him the good salutation.

He looked up, completely blanked me and looked down again.

This same episode of extreme unfriendliness ocurred a second time, a month later. This felt humiliating and anger-inducing in equal proportions.

Just as a matter of interest, what would have been your tack under these circumstances, Tonton my good man?

In response to:Casualty

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 15:00:33 +0200

Dear Reader,

Or even knee socks with open toe heels, which is a look Tonton adores.

In response to:Casualty

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 13:34:20 +0200

there's also the "classic" birkenstocks with thick woolly socks....and now the chic girl can often be seen with knee socks and closed toe heels.....at least that's how they seem to do it here in Aus!!!!

In response to:Casualty

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 13:25:31 +0200

Thank-you Tonton.

P.S. Does the same apply if one has legs like tree trunks ?

In response to:Casualty

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 00:15:29 +0200

You have to keep a bit of your city look in the country... I've been running around in Evansville Indiana dressed in leggings and heels... ok have also worn flip flops but I still dress up when eating out, even if it's at some tex mex place where I'm surrounded by fat people in track suits... :)

In response to:Casualty

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 23:53:48 +0200

Although Tonton cannot endorse your wearing socks with flip-flops, he is a great advocate of signature looks. Indeed to this day he can be spotted in any crowd as the only man wearing his sweater inside out.

In response to:Casualty

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 23:47:17 +0200

Dear Reader,

And footless tights must be the answer, as socks are only correctly worn with flip-flops when appearing as one of Gwen Stefani's back-up Harakuji girls. Or whatever it is they call themselves.

In response to:Casualty

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 21:40:34 +0200

Footless tights or 'sunkissed' pop socks....that is the question...

In response to:Casualty

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 21:05:57 +0200

And surely the socks to go with the flip-flops? I'm rarely seen without them in combination. (Alll stand for the National Anthem).